


Second Chance

by k_howard_is_here



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Family, Family Fluff, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jane is a good mum, Protective Jane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2020-12-27 21:30:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21125543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/k_howard_is_here/pseuds/k_howard_is_here
Summary: A discovery takes the Queens by surprise, but whilst for Jane it seems like a gift, it soon becomes a source of damage, conflict and grief.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is inspired from some of my old scribblings from years ago based on another fandom and I couldn't resist writing Jane being Mother Hen, like she always is.  
Feedback and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr - sixqueendom

At first, she had dismissed the noise as a cat lurking in the bushes.

Jane shrugged it off as she fumbled with her keys, her fingers numb from the bitter cold and desperate for the warmth. But when she heard it again, this time clearer and louder, her heart skipped a beat. It was so familiar, yet she couldn’t decipher exactly what it was. All she knew was she had heard it before and she felt herself being drawn towards it. Turning towards the park across the road, she slipped her keys into her coat pocket and wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck, crossing the road. She froze when she heard it again. Her heart fluttered; she knew that sound. A cry. Walking with purpose, Jane suddenly sensed movement in her peripheral vision and it took her breath away. There, amongst the shrubbery, was a baby swaddled in a pink fleece blanket.

“Oh my goodness…” Jane breathed.

She knelt down and tentatively picked up the bundle into her arms. Glancing around, Jane checked if anyone was around, but the park was still and quiet. Taking a breath, she sat on a nearby bench and gently cradled the child, marvelling at her tiny features. Being so small and light in her arms, she guessed she couldn’t be more than a week old, with dark wisps of hair crowning her head and plump rosy cheeks. At being held, the infant’s cries had gradually subsided, replaced by small hiccups that made Jane smile. She found herself taking great comfort holding the child; it reminded her of Edward and how soft and warm he’d been in her arms for the briefest time she had been able to hold him. Having calmed, the little girl opened her eyes – a brief flash of azure blue staring back at her.

“It’s alright,” Jane said softly. “You’re safe now.”

At that, Jane wrapped the blanket tightly around the baby to shield her from the chill and made her way back across the road to home. Carefully retrieving the keys from her pocket, she unlocked the door.

“Oh, Jane! I was beginning to get worried!” Cathy appeared from the lounge, relieved to see her. When her eyes found the bundle nestled in Jane’s arms, her eyes widened, but before she could say anything, Anne bounced down the stairs. She froze on the last step.

“Is that…?”

With all the commotion and the sudden rush of heat, Jane felt her cheeks flush, looking from one girl to the other warily. She swallowed. “I found her in the park,” she explained, gazing back at the infant, who was now drifting off to sleep. “Who would do such a thing? On such a cold night like this?”

Anne and Cathy cautiously flanked her at either side to get a closer look and found they too couldn’t take their eyes off of the little girl.

“She’s beautiful,” Anne cooed.

For a moment, the three girls stood in silence simply admiring the baby as she peacefully slept. None of them knew how to put into words how precious she was. Finally, Cathy ushered Jane into the living room for a seat, helping her shake off her coat and scarf. Anne eagerly sat beside her, transfixed. Realising she had lost track of time, Jane glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece. It was already way past 11pm. She assumed, with the house being so quiet, that Kat and Anna had already retired to bed, but it was unusual for Catherine to be asleep by now.

As if on cue, the Spanish girl sauntered in. “Cathy, I’m away to head to-“

None of the girls missed her recoil slightly when she laid eyes on the infant asleep in Jane’s arms. “What is that?” she blinked, her voice firm.

Feeling the tension in the air, Jane turned away, her eyes dropping to the floor. Cathy raised an eyebrow at Catherine’s reaction in the armchair opposite her and licked her lips. “Jane found the poor soul abandoned in the park.”

Catherine remained cold. “And why did you bring it back here? You can’t possibly keep her.”

Jane suddenly felt protective of the child and a familiar fiery anger ignite. She was taken aback by how bitter the girl was. She whirled her head around to face her, her eyes wide. “What did you want me to do?” she exclaimed. “She would have been dead by morning if I hadn’t found her!”

Catherine stood straight, unfazed by Jane. “Well, she certainly can’t stay here,” she said adamantly.

The baby stirred and began to cry. This only added to Catherine’s frustration and she turned her back on the others, shaking her head.

Cathy sighed in exasperation. “Look, it’s late. Let’s talk about this properly in the morning.” She shot Catherine a warning look and with that, Catherine silently strut out the room. Cathy stared up at the ceiling, waiting for the familiar click of her bedroom door closing upstairs, before giving Jane a sympathetic smile.

“Just ignore her, Jane. You know Catherine, she’s always moody when she’s tired.”

Having managed to soothe the child to sleep again, Jane gave a fraught smile back, Anne rubbing her arm for reassurance. “She’ll be hungry…I’ll need to pop out and grab some things for her.”

She looked to Anne next to her. “Want to take her for a bit whilst I go?”

Anne’s eyes immediately lit up and she nodded eagerly. Jane gently placed the girl into Anne’s arms, before walking back into the hallway to retrieve her coat and scarf. Cathy followed closely behind, closing the lounge door silently.

“Want me to come with you?” she asked, casting her a concerned look.

Jane shook her head, biting her lip as she slipped on her coat, before the tears blurred her vision and started to trail down her cheeks. She didn’t really know why she was crying; she just felt so overwhelmed. So much had happened in the space of fifteen minutes. Cathy rushed to wrap her in a hug.

“It’s alright,” she soothed, resting her head on the girl’s shoulder. “We’ll sort things out in the morning, okay? You did the right thing.”

As Cathy pulled away, Jane collected herself, wiping away the tears. “Thank you,” she mumbled.

“I’ll go and see what we have upstairs for her tonight,” Cathy smiled.  
  


* * *

When Jane returned with milk formula, nappies and a spare Babygro, Anne greeted her at the door and ushered her upstairs. In Jane’s room, Cathy had made a makeshift cot from a storage box and blankets. Cathy gave her a grin, rocking the baby in her arms. “It took a lot of convincing to get Anne to let me have a go.”

Jane laughed and glanced back at the cot. “Thank you so much, Cathy.” 

Cathy shrugged. “It’s the least I could do to help,” she stroked the infant’s head. “I think she’s hungry.”

Anne helped Jane heat up the formula milk downstairs and watched in wonder as Jane fed the infant. By the time she had finished and drifted to sleep once more, the trio were exhausted. Anne gave Jane a quick hug and stroked the baby’s cheek before bidding goodnight. As Jane gingerly laid the girl in the box beside her bed, she breathed a sigh of relief. The evening had been a whirlwind, but the child was safe and warm and that was all that mattered.

“She’s lucky to have you,” Cathy whispered, giving the other girl’s arm a comforting squeeze as she headed towards the door. She hesitated as she opened the door. “Give me a shout if you need any help with her during the night, okay?”

Jane smiled and nodded, taking comfort from the words. She was grateful for Cathy’s support and she knew only too well she’d need all she could get to face tomorrow. The very thought filled her with dread. She had no idea how the other girls would react and the uncertainty unnerved her.

She planted a kiss on the baby’s forehead as she climbed into bed and said a little prayer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the Queens react to the new arrival.

  
  
When Jane padded downstairs the following morning for breakfast, baby girl held close to her chest, she was surprised to see Cathy in full swing with the cooking. To her unease, Catherine was nursing a mug of tea at the table, silently flicking through a magazine as Cathy hummed to herself. As she passed Catherine to take a seat opposite, Jane offered a timid smile which, to her relief, the other girl reciprocated. All three chimed a “good morning”.

“I would have helped you with the breakfast, Cathy. You should have given me a knock,” Jane fussed, suddenly feeling quite inadequate. She was so used to her daily routine of rising early to prepare breakfast for all the girls; she had all their cooked breakfast preferences down to a tee and always surprised them with a treat on Sundays, whether it be pancakes with their favourite toppings or sweet cinnamon rolls. Yet this morning, it had completely slipped her mind as she had slept slightly later and now she was feeling rather guilty. She blamed sleep deprivation and made a note to try tomorrow.

Cathy waved a hand dismissively. “It’s no trouble. Besides, I think you have your hands full enough with the little cutie pie.” She tilted her head to take a peek at the infant snuggled into Jane’s chest, contently napping.

Jane smiled, chancing a glance at Catherine to find she was still engrossed in her reading. Having had plenty of time to contemplate on last night’s events as the baby fed during the night, Jane had come to realise why she had been so frosty.

Cathy turned off the stove and began serving up, wiping her hands on her apron. “Right, I’ll just run upstairs and let the others know breakfast is ready. Saves me from shouting,” she grinned, nodding towards the little girl.

It left the pair in an uncomfortable silence. To her surprise, however, it was Catherine who broke the lull.

“So, I suppose you have given her a name?” she asked casually, taking another sip of her tea as her eyes fell on the infant.

The question took Jane by surprise. “I, uh…no I haven’t actually. I haven’t even thought of one yet,” she faltered, giving a nervous laugh.

It was true. She had been mulling over several potential names in the early hours but she hadn’t dared settle on one. She had been too anxious about how the others would react and how today would pan out as a result. Naming the girl would get her even more attached. Things were too fragile yet to seal the deal with a name.

Catherine gave a small smirk, leaning back in her chair. “Well, she’s going to need one.”

Jane blinked. Did this mean she had come around to the baby? Had she had a sudden change of heart? She bit her lip, suddenly feeling the urge to confide in her.

“Catherine, I-“

She was interrupted by a shriek on the stairs. “Kat! That is so not fair!”

Anne and Katherine burst into the room, sending the kitchen into chaos with their childish fit of giggling. Peace disturbed, Catherine rolled her eyes and took her cue to leave, but not without giving Jane a knowing wink.

“Aww, Jane, she’s adorable!” cried Kat, fawning over the little girl, who was beginning to wriggle as she woke from her nap. As she gave an exaggerated yawn, Anne and Kat squealed, making Jane chuckle. The cousins were quite a pair; as thick as thieves and full of mischief. Jane had a particular soft spot for them both, especially Katherine, who she had taken under her wing after her unfortunate past life had left her confidence and trust in tatters. She had blossomed under Jane’s love and care and she felt like a proud mother seeing Kat’s personality finally shine through and see her achieve so much. She could only hope – if she could keep the baby – that she could help another with a second chance of a better life.

As the girls helped themselves to breakfast around the table, Cathy re-joined them, a pen behind her ear. Cathy was forever writing but kept misplacing pens and had recently resorted to keeping one handy in case a moment of inspiration struck. “Let me take her for a bit so you can have something to eat,” she offered, gently lifting the girl from Jane’s arms, bouncing her up and down as she made her way out the room. “Come on, princess. You can get a tour of Aunty Cathy’s writing room.”

Jane shook her head in amusement. She helped herself to some toast, eggs, sausages and bacon, realising just how hungry she really was.

A loud thud from the bottom of the stairs announced Anna’s late arrival for breakfast. Anne craned her neck to call out to her down the hallway. “You alright, Anna? You sound as graceful as an elephant coming down those stairs!” she sniggered, tucking into her eggs.

“Oi! Enough of that or I’ll smack you one!” Anna grumbled, stumbling into the room, hair dishevelled, as she grabbed Anne into a playful headlock.

“Thought you were going to get up early for a run?” Kat asked.

Anna sighed, dramatically flicking on the kettle for her coffee fix. “Well, I might have got up earlier if some crying hadn’t woken me up during the night,” she huffed, giving Jane an accusatory glare.

Jane feigned interest, grabbing herself another slice of toast.

“Aww, come on, Anna!” piped up Anne. “How can you be mad at the baby? She’s so cute!”

Anna rolled her eyes, pouring her coffee and snatching up a slice of toast. “Yeah, whatever! It’s noisy, that’s all I’m sayin’! Think I’ll invest in some new headphones!”

And with that, she strutted out to retreat back upstairs.

Jane raised an eyebrow. Perhaps she needn’t have been so worried about everyone’s reaction to the new arrival. But, nevertheless, it was early days and she still didn’t have confirmation that she so desperately wanted to hear.

She wanted to be able to call the baby hers.

Her second chance.

* * *

  
Cathy returned to help with the washing up and Jane was relieved to have the infant back in her arms. She could tell, however, that Katherine was itching to be involved, but she got the impression Anne’s slightly overbearing attitude was hindering her. Jane knew Anne was full of good intentions - she was just showing a keen interest in the baby and that was something she was, of course, thrilled with – but she knew it could easily put Kat in the shadows and make her feel left out.  
  
“Better go grab a shower before Anna and Kat or the water will be cold again,” nudged Jane, trying to give her a gentle hint.

Anne, playing peek-a-boo with the baby, gave a sigh and reluctantly disappeared upstairs. Jane got the younger girl to follow her into the lounge and sat her down with her on the sofa.

“Would you like to hold her?” Jane smiled, offering the baby to Kat.

She watched as Kat started to nod, but then squirmed nervously. Jane placed a reassuring hand on hers. “Don’t worry, you’ll not drop her. Here, let me show you how to hold her properly.”

She gently lay the girl into Kat’s arms, guiding one of her hands to support the infant’s head, the other to her bottom. “There, that’s perfect!”

Katherine immediately relaxed, speaking away to the baby with a broad smile on her face. It was what she adored about Jane; she was always so reassuring and encouraging, she knew exactly what to do and ready to give level-headed advice. Jane was the mother hen of the house: the go-to when you needed a hug or a shoulder to cry on. Kat didn’t know anyone more caring and selfless.

“How do you know how to do all this?” The younger girl lifted her eyes to meet Jane’s in wonder. “You seem to know how to handle everything…it’s just so natural for you.”

Jane merely shrugged. “It comes with experience, I suppose.” Katherine watched as the girl’s eyes drifted over to the baby, lovingly watching as the infant’s blue eyes roamed and her tiny fists reached out, before adding “I certainly don’t know everything.”

“Well, I think you’ll be a great mum to her,” Kat affirmed.

Jane felt her eyes well up but blinked her tears back, determined not to cry in front of the younger girl. “Thank you, love,” she managed, her heart full.

* * *

That evening, Cathy paused outside Jane’s bedroom on her way to finish some writing, hearing her quiet words as she spoke to the baby. She couldn’t resist taking a peek through the crack in the door to see Jane sat on the edge of the bed, singing under her breath. She had watched Jane all day; how she held the child so delicately, so gently. She was a natural, able to soothe the child’s cries just by cradling or singing softly. Seeing Jane singing a lullaby, Cathy gave a smile, a single tear silently trailing down her cheek. She was finally getting the chance to be a mother; something she had been so tragically robbed of with Edward. And she was perfect.

Cathy tiptoed to her room, grabbed a pen and started to write, suddenly gripped with inspiration.

She had a perfect idea.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane and Catherine share a heart-to-heart.

That afternoon, when the house was quieter with Anne, Kat and Anna all out and the baby peacefully sleeping, Jane took the opportunity to finally make peace with Catherine. Despite the Spanish girl’s nonchalant attitude at breakfast, Jane wanted to clear the air and ensure there was no bad blood between them. When you lived under the same roof as five others, you couldn’t really afford to hold grudges or have major altercations and she wanted to address things now before they got worse.

Jane lingered outside Catherine’s bedroom, reciting what she was going to say in her head, over and over. Finally, taking a breath, she gently knocked on the door.

“Come in, love,” came Catherine’s voice.

Slipping into the room, she found her at her dressing table by the window, finishing up her makeup. Catherine turned her head to give the younger girl a smile, nodding at her made up bed. “Make yourself at home.”

Jane perched herself on the end of the bed, folding her hands neatly on her lap. Now that she was in her bedroom, all words had escaped her. This was just so strange. After all, she was used to being the shoulder to cry on, the one people confided in. She reserved judgement and treated them all fairly and with kindness, listening with a quiet ear. She avoided confrontation and very rarely sought advice from anyone or disclosed her personal concerns. 

She didn’t know where to start.

Sensing the girl’s hesitancy, Catherine was the one to initiate the conversation, looking genuinely concerned. “Everything alright?”

Finally, biting her lip, Jane decided to speak up. “I just…I just wanted you to know that I understand why you were so upset last night,” 

She watched as Catherine froze, staring at herself in the mirror, seemingly caught off guard. She slowly placed down her eyeliner and turned to face Jane directly.

“What are you talking about?”

“She reminds you of Mary, doesn’t she?” Jane said quietly, sympathy in her eyes. Last night, coming to the realisation, Jane had been filled with guilt. She knew how much Catherine missed her beloved daughter and how she was tormented by never being able to see her again. Having been a mother herself – albeit for the briefest of time – she understood that ache, that yearning to be able to hold your child close again, just one more time.

Catherine bowed her head in resignation. In truth, she wasn’t proud of her outburst. In that moment, she had allowed her emotions to get the better of her, something she usually kept a strong harness on. Catherine had built her walls high after twenty four years tolerating a husband who had one objective and one alone. And it sure wasn’t love, at least, not for her. Not true love, anyway. When she had seen that baby bundled in Jane’s arms, all she had thought of was her own baby: her beautiful Mary who she had been blessed to see grow up and blossom into a strong-minded woman. She had totally disregarded Jane’s past and her feelings in her moment of selfishness. She shook her head as a solitary tear trailed down her cheek., taking a moment to compose herself.

“It just brought back so many memories,” she whispered. “seeing you holding that beautiful baby girl…” She stopped again, taking a breath. “Yes, she reminded me of my sweet Mary...and my precious Henry.”

Seeing the girl visibly upset, Jane leapt to her feet and knelt down in front of her, taking hold of her hands. Just hearing her utter her son's name broke her heart at Catherine's tragic loss. “I’m sorry, Catherine.”

As another tear fell, Catherine briskly brushed it away. “No, don’t be sorry,” she lifted her eyes to meet Jane’s. “I’m glad to see her make you so happy. You deserve it, Jane. You deserve all the happiness in the world. You do so much for all of us and have sacrificed so much in the past. I got my time with Mary, but you never got yours with Edward. It’s your turn now. This is your chance”

At the mention of her son, Jane shifted uncomfortably on her knees, fighting back tears as Catherine continued. 

“It’s me who should be sorry. I was just bitter because I let my own emotions get the better of me. But she’s a gift, that child. And she’s blessed having you to call her mother.”

Jane let out a sob, moved by Catherine’s words. Suddenly, the pair found themselves wrapped in a comforting hug, a mutual understanding between them, no words required. 

Jane was overwhelmed. She was filled with relief that she had cleared the air with Catherine, aching for a son that she never had the chance to see grow up and suddenly aware of the huge responsibility she now faced raising the infant sleeping next door. Catherine’s words were so touching, yet the thought of motherhood frightened her. The magnitude of the situation she was now in was finally hitting home, now very real. Cathy, Kat and now Catherine had all told her how confident they were of her apparent natural maternal instincts, but was she really ready? Was she really as capable as her friends thought she was?

“I don’t know if I can do It, Catherine,” she confided, her face buried into the other girl’s shoulder.

Catherine pulled away gently, holding the other girl firmly by the shoulders. “Of course, you can,” she said assertively. “If anyone can do this, you can, Jane.” Her face lightened, a smile lifting her features as the tears dried. “Besides, you won’t be doing it alone.”

Jane wiped her cheeks. “How can you be so sure?”

“Ok, I’ll admit Anna might need some work. But I’ve seen how Anne’s and Katherine’s faces light up when they see that child. And Cathy,” the older girl rolled her eyes, “she’ll be having the girl reading and writing before she even walks!”

The joke made both girls laugh, instantly brightening the mood in the room.

Catherine rubbed her shoulder reassuringly. “You’ll be just fine.”

Then, she leaned in close, a mischievous grin now spreading on her face.

“Now, tell me: what are you going to call her?”

Jane took a deep breath. 

“Grace,” she said with surety. “She’s called Grace.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter addition but I feel like this deserved it's own chapter. And we finally have a name for the little one. A huge thank you to everyone who continues to read this 'fic! The response I have had has been pretty amazing and I did not expect it at all!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queens face their first troubling night with Grace.

The next six months flew by for Jane. Life with Grace was an adventure in itself and something she found very rewarding. Despite her abrupt and unexpected arrival, the household had adapted surprisingly quickly to having an infant in their midst. The box room that Cathy had at one time been eyeing up as a study had been converted into a nursery, a project that Anne and Kat had excitedly thrown themselves into. Lovingly decorated with dusty pink walls, a wooden white crib, stuffed animals and a star mobile beautifully handmade by Catherine, the nursery had become Jane’s favourite room, despite its small size. The Queens’ place of work at the theatre had also welcomed Grace with open arms, with one of the understudies on standby always willingly offering to watch her whilst Jane performed. They had a routine, and it worked well. And, although there had been a few minor hiccups along the way – like the time Grace threw up all over Anne – there hadn’t been anything unforeseeable or too difficult.  
  


Until one night, when all the Queens found themselves caught up in a challenging evening.  
  


It had all started at around seven p.m., when Jane was getting Grace settled for bed. She had noticed that the girl had shown some slight signs of irritability during the day, being a little vocal and wriggly, but had simply put it down to teething. However, as she tried to put Grace down for the evening, the little girl was resisting; writhing and crying every time Jane went to lay her in her cot. At first, Jane had persevered and, after an hour of mild crying and unrest, had finally got Grace off to sleep. But by midnight, Grace woke wailing and thrashing around her cot and it frightened Jane. Heart pounding, she tried desperately to soothe her, but she only seemed to shriek louder and louder, her face now a bright red with exertion. Now sobbing herself and feeling completely helpless, Jane made her way onto the landing hoping to get advice from Cathy.  
  


Before she reached Cathy’s bedroom, Anna flung her own door open at the end of the hall, a scowl on her face, ready to pick a fight. “I swear to God if she doesn’t-“ Her face immediately dropped when she saw how distressed Jane was, trembling as she cradled her daughter as she continued to bawl. Cathy emerged from her bedroom, wide eyed.  
  


“She won’t stop crying,” Jane wept, completely distraught and looking at Cathy pleadingly for answers. For once, she felt out of control. “I don’t know what to do.”

Soon, everyone had gathered on the landing, bewildered.  
  


“What’s wrong with her?” Anne mumbled, looking from one girl to the other warily, her face pale with worry. She had never heard such a hysterical and incessant cry from a child so small. When no one answered, she began to fidget.  
  


Noticing Anne and Katherine were becoming unnerved and seeing Jane’s panic, Cathy composed herself and took charge.  
  


“It’s alright, I’ll take care of her,” she reassured everyone, taking Jane by the hand. She turned to Anne and Kat. ‘You two back off to bed.”  
  


The two girls hesitated in the doorway of Anne’s bedroom, before finally closing the door. Anna too, slipped silently back inside her room.  
  


Cathy ushered Jane downstairs, Catherine following close behind. She settled Jane on the sofa whilst Catherine placed a hand on the child’s forehead.

“She’s really hot…i think she has a fever.”  
  


Cathy rushed into the kitchen, ransacking the medicine cupboard, retrieving the thermometer. It confirmed Catherine's suspicions.  
  


“It’s alright, love,” Cathy soothed Jane, wrapping an arm around her. “Come on, we’ll take her to out of hours and get her checked out to be on the safe side, okay?”  
  


As she grabbed the car keys, Catherine followed them out into the hall.  
  


“Are you okay to hold fort here, Catherine? I’d rather someone was here for Anne and Kat, just in case,” Cathy gave a small smile, glancing upstairs. Catherine simply nodded.

* * *

An hour and a half later, the pair arrived home. Grace, to Jane’s relief, had finally quietened, her cries now just whimpers as she nuzzled into her chest for comfort. They found Catherine in the lounge, looking weary as she propped her head up with one hand, the tV on low. She rose immediately when they slipped in.  
  


“How is she?”  
  


Jane sank into the sofa, closing her eyes. “She’s okay. The doctor said it’s likely just a virus. They gave her some medicine and that seems to have settled her.”  
  


Content that all was well, Catherine nodded with a yawn and made for the door. Cathy rested a hand on her shoulder. ‘Thanks for tonight,” she said, before the Spanish girl retreated upstairs to bed.  
  


Cathy joined Jane on the sofa, gently stroking Grace’s tiny hand as she started to drift off. For a while, the pair simply sat in comfortable silence, wiped out from their eventful evening. Soon, Grace was curled up asleep and Jane rested her head on Cathy’s shoulder. “Thank you, Cathy,” she murmured sleepily. ‘I don’t know where I’d be without you."

  
Cathy grinned, gently brushing a stray tendril of blonde hair from the girl’s eyes. “Don’t mention it. Now, come on, let’s get you to bed.”

  
She gingerly scooped up Grace into her arms and guided Jane upstairs, placing Grace in her crib before joining Jane in her bedroom, tucking her into bed. Jane sighed in relief, sinking into the pillows. Cathy watched as the tension left her body and she relaxed into sleep.

  
“Goodnight, Jane,” Cathy whispered, tiptoeing out the room and closing the door, leaving it open just a crack so she could still listen for Grace.  
  


She noticed the sliver of light under Anne’s bedroom door and gave a gentle knock, waiting for a mumble before entering. She found the cousins cross-legged on Anne’s bed, their knees covered in a blanket.  
  


“Is Grace okay?” Anne’s voice was tiny. She had clearly been fretting over the infant all night.

  
Cathy nodded. “She’s asleep now. We took her to the doctor and they gave her some medicine. She should be better in the morning. Now, off to bed you two, it’s late.”

  
With that, Cathy closed the door and slipped back into her room, but not before quickly peeking back into Jane’s room. She was already fast asleep, wracked with exhaustion.

  
Satisfied that the house was now calm, Cathy finally retired to her room.

  
Peace, at long last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what can I say? Babies bring sleepless nights!  
Thank you to everyone for their continued support.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A stormy night brings Jane and Kat together as they each struggle with their own worries.

A couple of weeks later, a thunderstorm struck one evening.

Jane, having already anticipated the stormy weather, had brought Grace to bed with her to settle for the night. Although she had a generally easy temperament and was often unfazed by new situations, Jane couldn’t resist the excuse of having her close. Since moving Grace to her cot in the nursery just prior to the fever incident, Jane found herself missing her: the light, sweet scent of her hair, the extra warm cuddles, the little babbling she always had to herself before dozing off. There was always a hint of separation anxiety that she knew wasn’t just all maternal. She had never had these opportunities and experiences with her son in her past life and it was making her clingy; she was very reluctant to let Grace go far from her sight and hold. She knew it wasn’t going unnoticed by the other Queens either, and sitting there alone with Grace, the thought made her cringe. She didn’t mean to be so possessive of her little girl; she wanted nothing more than to share her with the rest of them. After all, they had all helped her so much since Grace arrived. But there was always the overwhelming feeling of anxiety that washed over her if Grace was in one of the other Queen’s company for too long. It wasn’t out of jealousy or spite, but Jane would be restless until her cheerful, laughing girl was back in her arms. It was comforting, like a child would be soothed by a blanket. But now, particularly at nights, Jane was trying desperately not to succumb to this want all the time, for she knew it was not healthy for Grace. But, at least for tonight, she was making an exception.

As the storm grew more intense, the torrential rain lashing the windows and the booming rumbling of thunder rolling above the house, Jane heard a light tap on the door. She knew exactly who it would be.

The youngest of the Queens, Kat, looking troubled, peeked her head in.

Jane smiled reassuringly. “it’s alright, love. You can come in.”

The girl perched herself on the edge of the bed, flinching as a flash of lightning lit up the room.

“We’re just chilling out here until it passes,” Jane said, nonchalantly, nodding down at Grace who was contently playing with a stuffed toy unicorn beside her, seemingly unperturbed by the disturbance outside. When Kat didn’t move, she patted the empty side of the bed. “Come up and get some snuggles from Grace. You’ll feel better.”

Kat had always hated thunderstorms and she often sought out Anne or Jane for comfort when she was frightened. It made Jane think that perhaps here she could use Grace as a reassurance tool: if she can see a six-month-old baby isn’t scared, why should she be? Grace would be a good distraction and she was happy enough to roll with it.

Kat gingerly slipped onto the bed, sliding herself closer to the infant, fidgeting all the while. 

“Grace, look who has joined us! I think Aunty Kat could use some cuddles.”

Taking a deep breath, Jane told herself this was also her chance to fight her demons. Let someone else take control. She gently lifted the girl up and handed her over to Kat, who finally broke into a smile. 

“Hi, Gracie Pie! Who’s this you’ve been playing with?”

Jane watched as the younger Queen carefully tucked the girl at her feet and in the crook of one arm to prop her up as she used her other arm to shake about the unicorn, making Grace squeal with delight. Slowly, the tension began to leave her body, her mind now taken off of the worries of the storm. Jane had learnt over time that with Kat it was sometimes all that was needed; a simple means of diverting her attention away from her concerns, and someone to talk to.

Kat giggled as Grace threw around her toy, occasionally cramming an ear into her mouth, before gurgling and clapping. Jane had had enough time to observe all the Queens – with the exception of Anna who tried everything to evade anything baby-related – and how each of them reacted to and treated Grace. There was Catherine, who showed her motherly fondness of the child from a distance, memories of Mary still too raw at this stage yet, but not enough to stop her showing she cared. Then, there was Cathy, who doted on Grace wholeheartedly and spoilt her rotten, always keen to show her new skills. Jane wouldn’t be surprised if Cathy had her reading and writing before she even walked. Anne was ever enthusiastic and animated, always engaging Grace in play, however her chaotic ways often had Jane’s heart leaping into her mouth. She was sometimes a little too rough and tumble – she definitely kept Jane on her toes. Then, lastly, there was Katherine. Sweet, docile Katherine. She was always careful and the gentlest with Grace, never rambunctious and loud like her cousin. She seemed to take great care with her, as if she knew it was a great responsibility. Perhaps it was seeing her again like this right now, that made Jane realise that, for once, that itching to take Grace back was not there. She was strangely relaxed.

After a few more minutes had passed, Grace was curled up in the warmth of Kat’s arms, quietly drifting off to sleep. Jane looked on with pride as the younger girl cradled her lovingly, her fears seemingly long forgotten. The storm had passed.

Soon, the pair slipped under the sheets, dimmed the lights and lay in silence as Grace slept between them. Kat noticed that Jane couldn’t tear her eyes off of the little girl. Jane acknowledged it with a smile.

“I could just lie here and watch her for hours,” she whispered, propping her head up on her hand. “I still can’t quite believe she is mine.”

Kat returned the smile, her eyes lighting up. Then she asked a question that took Jane by surprise. “What’s it like? Being a mum, I mean?”

Jane exhaled. How do you summarise all the wild mix of emotions? She got it, Kat was simply curious. Out of them all, Anna and Kat were the only two who had never bore children in their past lives. 

“Well…” Jane paused to collect her thoughts. “It’s a bit of a roller coaster. You have so much love for this tiny little person and, suddenly, you are who they depend on for everything. You need to care for them, keep them safe.”

“It sounds stressful,” Kitty murmured.

Jane shifted to lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling thoughtfully. “I was scared, those first few days. Absolutely terrified. I felt so out of control, suddenly thrust into the realm of motherhood and not having a clue where to start. I had no time to prepare…suddenly I’m responsible for the most precious thing…”

Jane turned her head to face Grace, stroking her tiny hand softly. “But I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

When Jane glanced over at Kitty again, she noticed the girl had tears in her eyes. “Oh, Kitty darling,” Jane leapt up, skirting around to the other side of the bed. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” She wrapped Kat into a warm hug.

“It’s just…it makes me realise how lucky I am to have you and the others…” Kat stammered in between sobs. “I kind of wish my mum had cared about me so much.”

This just made Jane hold her tighter, stroking her hair. “Oh, Kitty,” She drew her back so the girl faced her, looking her in the eyes as she held her by the shoulders. “You know I love you just as much as I love Grace. Nothing will ever change that.”

That affirmation was enough. It had been something Kat had been bottling up for months, since Grace first arrived that fateful winter’s night. She could never be jealous of Grace, but she had always been worried that Jane wouldn’t care for her so much. She would be so wrapped up in caring for the baby that she wouldn’t have time for her. Kat sniffed, wiping her tears.

“I’m sorry,” Kat blushed, suddenly embarrassed by her outburst. 

Jane perched on the bed beside her, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “Don’t be silly. You’ve been bottling that up for a while, haven’t you?’

Kat nodded vehemently. She felt stupid now – her worries had been foolish and unfounded. Jane always made time for everybody, even if it meant she had no time for herself and she had more than enough love to go around. 

As Kat rolled back into bed, Jane tucked her in, brushing a tendril of her brown hair behind her ear. “Grace and I love you very much. Never forget that, Kitty,” she whispered, gently kissing her forehead.

As she slipped back into the other side of the bed, she heard a whisper back.

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, some Jane and Kat fluff for you all!  
This 'fic is just going to consists of loads of angsty/fluffy/chaotic moments as Grace grows up really.  
And don't worry, I know you're all waiting for the inevitable chaos that comes with Anne! It's coming soon, I promise!
> 
> As always, thank you to everyone who takes the time to read, comment and kudos. It's very much appreciated! :3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cathy shares a tender moment with Grace and realises this may be a second chance for her too.

Cathy gave an exasperated sigh as she flicked on the kettle for her morning brew. She hadn’t been very productive last night when writing and it was frustrating her. All she wanted to do was write a short paragraph but the words refused to come. She was just at a loss as to what to write, like she had forgotten how to structure a sentence; how to weave words together and create a story. For ages, she had found herself staring blankly at the fresh blank page of her notebook, as if looking at it long enough would magically conjure words onto the page. Eventually, after half-heartedly jotting down some notes for ideas, Cathy had surrendered for the night and gone to bed, angry at herself.

It was still early – Jane would be up soon if she wasn’t by now – so she decided to head back to her room to try and write before breakfast. Armed with a mug of tea she hoped would waken up her brain and spark some imagination, Cathy tiptoed back upstairs. But when she pushed open the door to her room, which had been left ajar, she got quite the surprise.

There, sitting in the middle of the room playing with one of the many balls of scrunched up paper from the bin, was Grace. Cathy grinned, placing down her mug on her desk.

“Hey, Gracie Pie!” she knelt down to scoop the little girl up into her arms. “Have you come to help Aunty Cathy with her writing, huh?”

Grace gurgled a reply. Now ten months old, she was quickly mastering the skill of walking and, as a result, seemed to be relishing her new-found freedom, roaming around the house. Jane had been very quick to baby-proof the whole house as soon as she was crawling, much to Anna’s distaste. The baby gate at the bottom of the stairs was seen as a major inconvenience and a huge effort for her to climb over each morning or, in Anne’s case, clumsily fall over with the elegance of a baby giraffe. Needless to say, the Queen’s had quickly learnt they now needed to have eyes on the back of their heads as Grace disappeared and appeared in seconds.

Cathy plonked herself down at her desk with Grace bouncing on her knee, and lifted a piece of paper up for the girl to see. “I’m a little stuck, Gracie. What do you think I should write?”

But Grace seemed more interested in one of Cathy’s notebooks, jam packed with brightly coloured sticky notes, trying to clutch onto it with her tiny hands. “Ah, ah, no you can’t have that,” Cathy hastily slipped the book from the girl’s hands and placed it back on the desk, only for Grace to persist trying to get her hands on it. When Cathy removed it from her grasp again, Grace began to whimper.

Cathy sighed in resignation. “You like it, huh?”

The notebook contained all of Cathy’s tireless and relentless research into her beloved daughter. All she wanted to know was what happened to her precious girl. It was, perhap, for this reason that Cathy had got so attached to Grace. She flipped it open.

“I had a little girl like you once,” Cathy said softly, gently stroking Grace’s cheek with a smile. “In fact, your mummy and I are actually quite similar in a way.”

Grace looked up at her with her big blue eyes, almost as if she understood. Meanwhile, unnoticed by them both, Jane was silently observing from the shadow of the doorway. She watched as Cathy carefully flicked through the pages of her precious notebook; work she had dedicated hours and hours of work on in a desperate bid to find answers about her little Mae. It was something she had held close and had never shared with the others – including herself – so there was something heartfelt about her choosing to share it with Grace.

“You see, my sweet little Mae disappeared,” Cathy explained as she turned page after page, full of handwritten notes and sticky note annotations. “And I have been trying to find out where she went. You see, I…”

Cathy fumbled on the next word, considering her words carefully before continuing. “I left her when she was just days old. Your mummy had a little boy called Edward and she too had to leave him…which is why you’re so precious to her.”

Jane felt a lump form in her throat.

“You’re special to me too, Gracie. You remind me so much of Mae. Sometimes, I do wonder if you’ve been sent to us for a reason,” Cathy looked up at herself in the mirror by her desk. “Maybe you’re meant to be our second chance to share our love. To be mothers.”

As she reached the last page she had written, Cathy stopped and bit her lip, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. Sitting here with Grace admittedly stirred up many emotions for her – emotions she imagined similar to Jane and Catherine, she could imagine – and suddenly she felt her heart ache. This was all her daughter would ever be: words on a page. Here, she had written the very few things she knew about Mae and her life after she had passed, then exploring what had happened after her Thomas had been executed, leaving Mae an orphan at the tender age of two. The records stopped not long after. It was almost as if Mae had simply disappeared; been whisked off to an unknown destination never to be heard of again.

After a moment, Cathy shook her head to dispel the thoughts and composed herself. She tucked away the notebook and lifted a now wriggly Grace into her arms, holding her close to her chest for a hug. She had to remind herself that she couldn’t change the past; she couldn’t change what happened to her sweet Mae. She had to focus what was here and now, and now this family had been given Grace. She would channel all her love she held for Mae into this little girl and she would protect her at all costs. She may have had her future with Mae cruelly snatched from her, but she had the opportunity to have a future here with the other Queens and Grace. And that alone, was something to be thankful for. Jane, moved by the scene, quickly retreated back to her bedroom and deliberately bumped into Cathy on the landing.

“Ah, I should have guessed you’d have gone to find Aunty Cathy! Are you trying to help her with her writing?” Jane laughed, tapping the girl playfully on the nose. She looked up at Cathy. “I was just away to make some breakfast.’

Jane desperately wanted to reach out to Cathy, to comfort her. But something told her not to. Now was not the time.

“Maybe some food will fuel my brain and get the inspiration juices flowing again. I didn’t get much work done last night,” Cathy rolled her eyes with a grin, no trace of her moment of sadness in her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I thought it was about time Cathy got her moment with Grace and we get to finally see why she's perhaps more heavily involved compared to some others (*cough, cough* Anna). And, we all know she misses her Mae dearly. 
> 
> Prepare for some capers in the next few chapters...Grace is going to get bigger and cuter!
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading! :3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some cute little moments with the Queens and Grace.

They both lay in the darkness, silent and still, in waiting. They couldn’t afford to make a sound, or it would give them away. They needed the element of surprise. So Anne had to buy Grace’s silence with the promise of an extra cookie, but it was worth it.

Suddenly, the door to the living room opened and Anne gave her partner in crime a nudge – the signal. When Grace didn’t get the prompt though, Anne leapt out of the den.

“It appears we have an intruder!”

At that, the little blonde girl barged out of the makeshift den astride her unicorn hobby horse in ambush. “Attack, Sparkles, attack!” she cried.

Anna and Cathy played along, scurrying behind the sofa to try and evade capture. Grace pounced onto Anna’s back as Anna playfully spun her around, causing the little girl to shriek with laughter. Determined to not go down alone, Anna tackled Cathy, and before long, they were all collapsed in fits of giggles on the floor. Just then, Jane entered the room.

“My goodness!” she exclaimed, giving a mock look of surprise. “Anna, I can’t believe you were defeated by a unicorn!”

Anna grinned, dusting herself off as she rose to her feet. “Well, let’s just say I’m a sucker for glitter and rainbows.”

To Jane’s relief, Anna had eventually come around to Grace as she grew. She recalled that fateful day, when Grace had dropped Maisie, her beloved fluffy pink toy rabbit, in the upstairs hall as she rushed to go out to the park. Anna had found her and scooped her up, placing her on the safety of the bookshelf in her room, with the intention of returning Maisie to her rightful owner when she got home. After searching high and low, Grace’s eyes had clamped onto her precious companion, peeking from the shelf. She had stood, hands on hips and a look of defiance on her face, in Anna’s doorway.

“You give me back Maisie or there’ll be trouble!” she had demanded, with such conviction and authority that Anna couldn’t help bursting into laughter. She certainly hadn’t expected that to come out of Grace’s mouth.

Since then, they’d got on like a house on fire.

“Come on,” Jane gestured to Grace. “Aunt Kitty is just taking your cupcakes out of the oven! They smell yummy!”

Grateful for the respite, Cathy, Anna and Anne collapsed onto the sofas with a sigh and a laugh.

Life was sure eventful with Grace, but it was always an adventure.

* * *

One afternoon later in the week, Catherine was taking advantage of an almost empty house. Most of the Queens were out running various errands or seeing friends, leaving just Jane and Grace at home with her. Grace had been suspiciously quiet the past little while, but it didn’t stop Catherine relishing the peace of the kitchen with a cup of tea, engrossed in a book that Cathy had recommended. It wasn’t long, however, before she heard the tell-tale padding of tiny feet.

A little blonde girl with rosy cheeks peeked up with inquisitive eyes from the other side of the table.

Catherine put down her book with a smile. “Hello, little miss.”

“Are you having a tea party on your own?”

Catherine humoured the child. “Well, yes, but it is a little lonely. Would you like to join me?”

Grace nodded enthusiastically. “Can Maisie and Sparkles join too?”

“Of course! The more the merrier!”

If there was one thing Catherine admired about the little girl, it was how articulate she was. It hadn’t taken long for Cathy to thrust books into the girl’s hands and she and Jane always took turns to read Grace a bedtime story, often encouraging the girl to read little parts too. Catherine wondered if this small intervention from a young age had helped Grace form the impressive vocabulary she astounded them with on a daily basis. It also wasn’t unusual for Grace to mimic phrases Anne or Anna used, much to Jane’s despair. Funnily enough, no ordinary three year old should really be able to confidently say “Sorry not sorry”.

As Grace rushed off to find her other tea party guests, Catherine retrieved the trusty plastic teacups from the cupboard and set the table, making a point of pouring her own tea into a plastic cup too. She placed a plate of biscuits in the middle of the table, just as Grace returned with Sparkles and Maisie in tow.

“Want me to show you how the Queen drinks her tea?” Catherine grinned.

Catherine demonstrated: placing her fingers to the front and back of the handle, her pinky slightly raised. Grace gave one of her sweet giggles, trying it out her herself. When she finally got the hang of it, Catherine poured the girl some milky tea, cool enough for her to drink without burning her tongue.

“Muy bien, princesita.”

Grace tilted her head, her eyes shining with curiosity at the unfamiliar words.

“It means very good, little princess,” Catherine explained.

Grace gave a giggle, repeating the words. She turned to her beloved toys.

“Maisie is ‘una coneja’: a rabbit. And Sparkles is ‘una unicornia’: a unicorn.” Catherine prompted.

As Grace practiced, Jane sauntered in.

“I must say Grace is blessed to have such an array of talents to learn from in this house.”

Catherine smiled, taking another sip of tea. “Before she’s six, she’ll be fluent in Spanish, be able to dance the “Cha Cha Slide” and reading Shakespeare.”

Jane gave a snort. Catherine wasn’t too far off there. Although she would rather Grace didn’t pick up Anna’s unsavoury dance moves. Not that she could talk: everyone knew Jane couldn’t dance.

“Aunty Catherine?” piped up Grace, getting restless in her chair.

“Mhhm?”

“What’s the ‘Cha Cha Slide’?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised cute fluff, didn't I? Enjoy it whilst it lasts though, as we'll soon be heading back to good old Angstville!
> 
> Thank you for reading! :3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Anne's birthday comes around, the cracks in this seemingly happy family begin to show...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We interrupt the cute fluff to bring you more angst!   
Just a little warning that there is some brief use of swearing.

It was a pleasant, warm spring day and Jane and the other Queens had decided to enjoy a picnic at the park and take advantage of the good weather, whilst Grace let off some steam playing at the playground nearby. Although it wasn’t in Grace’s nature to wander far from Jane’s gaze, she kept a close eye on her as she joined in with the other kids on the slide.

“It won’t be long until she’ll be at school,” Cathy mused beside her, basking in the sun as she watched Grace. “How time flies, huh?”

Jane nodded with a smile, allowing her eyes to meet the writer. “I’ll certainly miss her when she’s not at home. I’m going to have a look at some schools over the next few days…try and get in quick with enrolling. I was going to ask if you’d like to come along? Give a second opinion?”

Cathy nodded. “Sure! Just say a day and I’ll be there!”

Jane glanced back to the playground, only to notice she could no longer see Grace.

“Grace?”

She wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

Heart racing, Jane leapt to her feet. “Where’s Grace?” she asked the others, struggling to keep her voice from trembling as panic began to rise.

Anna waved a hand dismissively. “Jane, chill out! She’s probably strayed over to the sandpit or something with one of the other kids.”

The sandpit was just out of their eyeline, but when Jane craned her neck, she could see Grace was not there either. She had her dressed in a pretty blue dress, with her blonde hair tied in pigtails with matching blue ribbons. Sensing Jane’s concern, Cathy and Kitty both stood, scanning the playground for any sign of the little girl. Cathy took Jane’s hand.

“It’s fine, Jane,” she reassured in an even tone. “She’ll be around.”

The group split up and scoured the park. Catherine and Anna asked some of the parents nearby if they’d seen Grace, but all shook their heads. Jane and Cathy searched the entire playground, whilst Kitty and Anna tried by the pond.

Then, something caught Jane’s eye. A flash of blue at the edge of the park. It was Grace. But she wasn’t alone.

To her horror, a man had Grace by the hand, tugging her away from the park towards the nearby residential streets. She screamed after the man as she bolted towards them, which only made the man pull Grace more forcibly. When he turned to look at Jane, it felt like all the breath had been knocked out of her and she stopped in her tracks. No, it couldn’t possibly…

Desperation taking over, Jane picked up the pace again down the hill, all the while screaming for him to stop, tears filling her eyes. She couldn’t lose Grace. Not after everything she’d been through.

Then, Jane lost her footing, tripping and collapsing to the ground.

* * *

As she impacted the ground, Jane woke up with a gasp. Drenched in sweat and breathing erratically, Jane’s mind was racing and she could only think of one thing. She frantically untangled herself from the bed sheets and rushed to Grace’s bedroom, before sinking to the floor at the doorway in relief. It had been a dream: a horrible, horrible nightmare. Her little girl was still safe, sound asleep.

Having heard the small commotion, Cathy poked her head out of her bedroom. When she saw jane, she immediately went to her side. “Hey,” she said softly, resting an arm gently on her shoulder. “You okay?”

Jane nodded, wiping the tears from her cheeks. She so desperately wanted to hold Grace, to bring her back to bed with her where she knew she’d be safe, curled up beside her. But she knew it would only disturb her and it wouldn’t be fair. She looked so peaceful, her beloved toy rabbit Maisie clutched tightly to her chest.

Cathy helped her to her feet, not asking any questions. Nightmares were unfortunately the norm in the household and it meant all of the Queens had a silent understanding. Henry may be long gone, but he still plagued their dreams, their thoughts.

As Cathy tucked her back into bed, Jane knew she’d never get back to sleep. How could she when the monster from their pasts was coming back to haunt her?

No matter how hard she tried to shake him off, he continued to cling steady, like a bad smell. She thought this was her clean break: a fresh start. A second chance.

But maybe history didn’t want any of them to forget.

* * *

The following morning, the house was filled with the tingle of excitement that came with birthdays. Today, it was Anne’s, and she was relishing in every moment.

A couple of weeks before, she had announced to the breakfast table that she was going to have a night out for her birthday so they could celebrate together. Jane’s face had fallen at the plan but she quickly hid it from Anne. She would have to bite the bullet at some point and leave Grace with a babysitter, and at least she had time to prepare.

Over the three years of having Grace in their lives, it hadn’t just been the Queens’ routines that had changed; their social lives had also been adapted to work around caring for a little one. They managed a short drink at the bar after a week of shows once in a blue moon when one of their alternates offered to watch Grace for an hour or so to allow Jane to join. Or, on the rare occasions when Jane could be coaxed out of the house in the evenings, Cathy would volunteer to care for Grace. The others continued to mingle with friends at weekends, but it didn’t go unnoticed that Cathy was usually the one who missed out, being the first to shrug her shoulders and offer to stay and keep Jane company whilst the others went out to enjoy themselves. The writer always assured it wasn’t a problem: she could use the extra time to write more. She was just doing it to be modest. But just how much longer could Cathy be expected to sacrifice her social life for the benefit of her friend? It was true, Cathy was fiercely loyal and would do anything for any of the Queens at the drop of a bat, but there was only so much she could do before it interfered with her life.

As the evening drew in and everyone was getting ready to head out, the atmosphere in the house began to change and trouble brewed. Jane had bailed out of getting a babysitter for Grace.

“Jane,” Anne said pleadingly. “You promised. It’ll only be for a few hours.”

Jane shook her head, curling up into a protective ball on the sofa, preparing for a dispute. “I can’t.”

They didn’t understand. How could she leave her baby with a stranger after what she saw in her dream?

Cathy tilted her head, her face full of concern. She turned back to the others. “I’ll stay and keep Jane company, it’s fine.” There she was: the reliable Cathy, always one to depend on in a time of need, racing to the rescue.

But Anne knew better. Anne had watched as time and time again, Cathy politely declined the offer of drinks with Joan and the rest of the band after a show. Cathy never complained and yet, surely deep down she must be disappointed every time she said no. Well, now Anne was going to stand up for her, because she knew Cathy was too polite and civil to tell Jane herself.

“No, it’s not fine!” growled Anne. “Why should you miss out because she can’t do the normal thing and get a babysitter? Jane, you need to get a GRIP!” The last word was more of a snarl, a caution that the bulldog was close to snapping.

“I’ll stay here by myself. I have Grace, I don’t need company!” Jane insisted, desperate to maintain the peace, sensing Anne’s rising temper.

“That’s not the point!” Anna cried in exasperation. “The whole reason we wanted you to get a babysitter is so YOU could come too!”

“We miss you, Jane,” Kitty piped up. “Our nights out are not the same without you.”

Jane hung her head in resignation. “I just…can’t.”

She flinched as Anne stomped her foot.

“For FUCK’S sake, Jane!”

Anne had exploded. She had tolerated Jane’s over-protectiveness of Grace for three years now, but enough was enough. She wasn’t going to have her birthday night spoiled.

“How about you stop making everyone else feel bad and let them enjoy themselves for once? How you ever stopped to think that perhaps some of us have said no to plans because they thought it would upset you or make you feel left out?” Anne was on a tirade: her words coming thick and fast.

“We can’t just leave you here! We just feel guilty.” Kitty added gently, trying to buffer Anne’s harsh words.

But there was no stopping Anne.

“We have sacrificed quite a lot for you, Jane. You’ve just been too blind to see.”

Now Anne was crying, out of pure frustration and upset.

“I just want things to go back to how they used to be! Is it really too much to ask to have one night where we’re all together?”

Anne’s outburst had now made Grace sob in the corner, exacerbating the whole situation. It made Jane’s anxiety go through the roof, making the tears fall fast down her cheeks, and it also wound Anne up further.

“Get her to shut up!” Anne shrieked, stabbing a finger in the little girl’s direction but not looking at her.

Jane couldn’t look at Anne. She just wanted this to stop.

“You know what, Jane? You’ve been really selfish about this whole situation! You’ve never thought how your decision would affect the rest of us!”

Anne grabbed her coat.

“I wish you’d never brought her home!”

With that, Anne slammed the door and stormed out the house, Kitty fast on her heels. Anna, arms folded, gave an unimpressed shake of her head.

“Something’s gotta change, Jane.” she said, before she too left.

Now all that was left was Catherine and Cathy, who both looked bewildered at how fast things had escalated. Cathy automatically went to console Grace, before Jane uncharacteristically snapped at her.

“Don’t touch her! Just…leave her alone!”

“Jane…”

Cathy looked to Catherine, then back to Jane. She slowly stood. Catherine locked eyes with her, as they sent each other a silent message. What else could they do?

The answer was nothing. They were helpless. If Jane didn’t want to help herself, they could do nothing more. At that, Catherine put her arm around Cathy and led her upstairs, leaving Jane alone with Grace.

Jane pulled Grace close. She could feel her life crumbling around her.

“It’s okay, baby girl,” Jane whispered, although everything wasn’t.

For ages, Jane simply sat and wept, long after Grace had fallen asleep out of exhaustion. What had happened? She had never felt so alone. All she could see hear was Anne’s words resounding in her head. And all she felt was guilt. It was true: she had been too wrapped up in Grace that she had lost focus on them and how Grace had impacted their lives too. And the thought that any of them had cancelled plans just because of her? That made her feel worse. Their lives shouldn’t revolve around her, or Grace.

Finally, Jane managed to regain enough composure to lift Grace into her arms and tiptoe upstairs. She tucked Grace into bed, kissing her lightly on the forehead, before retreating to her bedroom. She curled up under the covers and buried herself deep and allowed herself to sob into her pillows. She just didn’t know what to do. She was so good at helping others, but when it came to her own issues, Jane was clueless.

She’d caused this unprecedented rift. This was all her fault.

How could she fix this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh...so yeah. This is what an angry gremlin looks like. Anne's patience has finally worn thin.   
Do you reckon Anne's reaction is justified? Or do you think having the huge outburst was really unfair on Jane?  
Let me know in the comments!
> 
> Thank you, as always, for reading. :3 Your kudos and comments make my day!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane realises her mistakes and tries to start making amends,

Jane didn’t know how much time had elapsed when she heard a soft knock at the door. She ignored it, hoping whoever it was would just leave her alone in peace. But shortly after, she felt a gentle hand rest on her back through the sheets.

“Change is a scary thing,” Catherine said, perching herself on the edge of the bed. “We get so comfortable in what we do every day that when an opportunity to change comes along…well, it can seem terrifying. It takes over, becomes…overwhelming. To the point where you dig yourself into a hole and end up deeper and deeper in the pit of habit.”

Jane reluctantly removed the covers and curled up into a protective ball, unable to look at Catherine. She really wasn’t in the mood for a philosophical lecture.

Catherine sighed, reaching for Jane’s hand. She wanted her to know she was on her side. She hadn’t come to berate her. “Change can be a good thing though. The others…they only have your best interests at heart We all care about you and don’t want you to miss out and be trapped in all the time.”

“I’m not trapped,” mumbled Jane. Although she was no longer crying – it seemed she had cried all the tears there was to cry – her eyes were still red and puffy.

Catherine shifted closer. “Jane, I understand. Really, I do. It’s completely normal to have separation anxiety when leaving your little one. But you do eventually have to let go. It’s not easy, but you need to try.”

She watched as Jane tilted her head towards the ceiling, fighting back fresh tears that were threatening to fall. Catherine took her hand in hers, gently stroking it with her finger to try and soothe her.

“When I had Mary, I didn’t want to let her out of my sight. Not after what had happened to my precious baby boy years before. But eventually duty called and I had little choice but to leave her.”

Jane bit her lip. Catherine had never openly spoke about Henry, her little boy who had lived for eleven days before dying suddenly, nor any of her traumatic miscarriages. She couldn’t imagine how truly heart-breaking it must have been. And for Catherine to now suddenly open up a little to her now made the moment even more poignant.

Catherine shifted slightly on the bed before continuing. “You’d have to be blind to not see how much love you have for Grace, and leaving her with someone to care for her doesn’t mean you love her any less. But you need to allow yourself some freedom. You are allowed to have a life of your own too, you know.”

All Catherine was saying was true. Tonight had been a reality check for Jane. A slap in the face, true, but probably warranted to make her see sense. She had been so wrapped up in providing for Grace that she had neglected her friends. She had forgotten she also had wants and needs and had put all her energy into raising her precious daughter that she didn’t have any left for herself, to do things _she_ wanted to do. When Grace arrived, her own life had been cast aside; it wasn’t the priority. She had told herself that Grace was the most important part of her life and nothing else mattered. Had she lost a little part of herself in that process? That fun, party-loving Jane had slunk into hiding, locked away never to be heard from again, as serious, sensible Jane had taken over.

Now that she seriously thought about it, she couldn’t recall the last time she had truly let go: had a carefree day just with her fellow Queens.

No wonder Anne was so upset.

A solitary tear rolled down her cheek. She had let them all down. She had been so controlling. They deserved an explanation.

“I…I had a nightmare the other night. About Grace,” she admitted. If she was to reveal her nightmare to anyone, Catherine was one she could depend on to listen.

Jane took a deep breath. “We were all at the park. Grace was playing at the playground with the other kids. I took my eye off her for a second and then…she was gone. Eventually, I spotted her. But she was with a stranger…a man. He-“ Jane choked on her tears at the thought, that familiar face. “He snatched her. And I couldn’t save her.”

Shaking her head to try and rid the thought, Jane began to sob, burying her head in her hands. She couldn’t tell Catherine who it was. She couldn’t bear to utter his name.

Catherine immediately pulled Jane into her arms, stroking her blonde hair soothingly. She knew the girl had always been over-protective given what had happened in her past, but this made tonight’s reluctance to leave Grace make much more sense.

“I couldn’t go tonight,” Jane stammered. “It just frightened me.”

Catherine hushed her, rubbing her back. ‘It’s alright.”

They stayed like that for a while, Catherine holding Jane until her tears finally subsided. As if on cue, Cathy quietly peeked her head in, armed with two mugs of tea. Sensing the pair also needed to talk, Catherine gave the writer a smile and took her leave, giving Jane a soft kiss on the head as she left.

Cathy sat down beside Jane, passing her a mug, which Jane took grateful, managing to whisper a “thank you’.

They sat in silence for several moments before Jane finally found the words to speak.

“I’m so sorry, Cathy.”

Cathy looked down at the floor, trying to distract herself. She didn’t trust herself not to cry.

“I have been so selfish. So blind. I’ve taken you and the others for granted. All I have been thinking about is Grace and nobody else.”

Cathy put down her mug and wrapped Jane into a firm hug. They both began to cry.

Finally Cathy brushed away her tears, clutching the other girl’s hands in hers. “We just really miss you, Jane. We love you to pieces and we’d never be without your motherly ways…but we just want to have you back. Even just a little bit.”

Too consumed with Grace, Jane finally understood. She never had time for them, spending time with them. It always involved Grace. It never occurred to her that they had missed having time with her alone.

Right then, Jane made a vow. As soon as Grace was enrolled in school, she was going to make an effort. She was going to go for afternoon tea with Cathy whilst she babbled about books. She was going to take Kitty to the zoo, as she had promised too long ago. And Anne, if she forgave her, she would organise a special birthday outing with all the Queens so they could all be together, just as she had wanted.

Anne.

Jane sighed. “What do I say to Anne? ‘Sorry for ruining your birthday by being such a selfish cow’?”

Cathy grimaced. “She’ll come around, Jane. I’m sure she’ll understand once you two talk things over. She was a mother too, remember. She out of all people should understand.”

Jane wasn’t convinced. She had truly hurt her and had deserved the harsh words.

_We have sacrificed quite a lot for you, Jane. You’ve just been too blind to see._

_I wish you’d never brought her home!_

The sting of those final words made her eyes well up once more. She had never realised how much Grace had impacted the household…all the Queens seemed to have adapted to it so well (with the exception of Anna, until recently) and had never said a word. Had they all grinned and bared it for her sake? Had they all been pretending everything was fine just to avoid rocking the boat?

As if reading her mind. Cathy placed a hand on her shoulder. “We all love Grace, and we wouldn’t change her for the world. She’s taught us so much. And I know Anne loves her too.”

Cathy gently folded back the sheets. “Now, try and get some sleep, mhm? Things will be better in the morning, I promise.”

Jane nodded, half-heartedly. Cathy gave her a reassuring smile before closing the door behind her

But as Jane lay in bed, all she could think about was Anne. She was worried about her. She’d gone out so angry, who knew what she was capable of doing? She just prayed that Anna and Kitty were keeping her safe and that she wouldn’t do anything reckless.

She needed the chance to fix this.

She could only pray Anne would give her that chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Jane sees the light! However, who knows how Anne will react when Jane finally gets the chance to apologise.  
We all know the little gremlin can be troublesome!   
And how will this all impact the other Queens?
> 
> Thank you for reading and for all your kudos and comments. :3 They make me smile!


	10. Chapter 10

Meanwhile, a fuming Anne had stormed off to a nearby bar and seemed hellbent on getting herself blindly drunk, fueled by her anger. Anything to numb what she was feeling.

“Anne,” Anna put a firm hand on Anne’s arm as she downed yet another shot. “Calm down a little, okay? Don’t blow yourself to oblivion! At this rate, I’ll be having to drag your drunk butt home!”

On Anne’s other side was Kitty, who was watching on nervously. She had spent the entire time in the bar silent, afraid to say anything in case it further enraged an already furious Anne. Sitting in silence also meant she had had time to contemplate and process what had just happened back at home and, quite frankly, it scared her. Things had been left so bad back at the house…what did that mean for them all? What would be the consequences? Anne had said some bitter words.

Anne slammed down her empty shot glass. “I’m fine,” she snapped, scowling. Not only did she have a throbbing headache, but she was overwhelmed with a multitude of emotions: resentment, bitter disappointment, sadness and a little bit of remorse. Her birthday plans were in tatters, all because of Jane’s irrational selfishness.

She’d ruined everything. All because she couldn’t leave her precious little girl at home for a few hours.

Not knowing what to do with all her thoughts and emotions, Anne buried her head in her hands and began to quietly cry. She was a mess. This whole situation was a mess.

Kitty went to put a comforting arm around her cousin, but for once, Anne didn’t want to be touched. She didn’t need Kitty’s comfort. She shook her off a little too harshly. Kitty stumbled back onto the bar stool, her eyes too beginning to fill with tears. The younger girl slowly turned back to face the bar in an effort to hide her tears as they trailed down her cheeks, her eyes cast towards the ground.

“Anne, cut it out,” Anna growled, giving the girl a firm slap on the arm. She didn’t care if it hurt: at this point, Anne needed the sting to knock some sense into her. She was lashing out to release her anger, she knew, but Kitty didn’t deserve to get the brunt of it.

Finally, Kitty stood, clutching her coat. She looked to Anna, but didn’t quite meet her eyes. “I-um…I’m going to go home…”

The poor girl was evidently upset and shaken; Kitty didn’t like doing a lot of things alone, having lost a lot of confidence from her past history, so for her to even suggest the prospect of going home alone was a red flag in itself. This situation was all too much for her.

Anna was torn as to what to do. She didn’t want Kitty walking home alone when she already felt vulnerable, but she knew she couldn’t leave Anne in the state she was in either. She needed to reign in her temper first before they could even think about going home tonight.

Anna pulled her phone out of her coat pocket. “Well, at least let me call Cathy and get her to pick you up.”

Growing more frustrated and impatient – and Kitty’s imminent departure just further exacerbating the situation - Anne abruptly kicked back her stool and stormed off to the bathroom without a word. She needed space to breathe, away from the loud buzz of the bar, away from Anna and Kitty.

Locking herself in the disabled toilet, she sunk to the floor and sobbed, as her own words echoed in her head, taunting her.

_“You know what, Jane? You’ve been really selfish about this whole situation! You’ve never thought how your decision would affect the rest of us!”_

_“I wish you’d never brought her home!”_

Anne clamped her eyes shut at those last few words. It had been ammunition created by pent-up frustration and now she was suffering the consequences. Words carry weight, and harsh words like hers hurled at someone else will unquestionably do damage. Sitting there contemplating what she had said now made her chest hurt and her throat tighten. She really hadn’t meant it.

_“I wish you’d never brought her home!”_

The truth was, Grace reminded her of Elizabeth. It reminded her of all the milestones she had missed and memories she had never made with her own little girl. Yet, she adored Grace. Grace had taught her how to find joy in the simplest of things, to live in the moment, to be fearless. Grace had taught her how to love again. Because she did love that sweet, caring little girl that woke her up most mornings using her bed as a makeshift trampoline; who appreciated her wanting to make a fairy den in the living room with snacks at ridiculous times of the day. She was always up for playing dress up, for watching Disney movies, for baking cookies and gooey chocolate cake. Grace was giving her a second chance having these moments, moments she’d never had with Elizabeth.

How could she possibly wish her away?

“Annie?” came a tiny voice, followed by a tentative chap at the door.

“Go away!” cried Anne, choking on her sobs.

Anne immediately regretted saying it. She wiped away her tears and stood, hoping her cousin was still lingering outside.

“Kit?”

She unlocked the door, edging it open slightly to peek out. When she saw the flash of pink hair, she opened the door slightly more to invite her in, before locking it once more.

Kitty immediately wrapped her into a hug, making Anne cry again.

What did she do to deserve her? She had been so bitter and nasty to Kitty and yet, here she was, steadfastly by her side, not willing to give up on her cousin despite all her flaws.

“I’ve really fucked up, Kit. What do I do?”

Kitty pulled back, brushing a stray lock of hair from Anne’s eyes. “Just say you’re sorry, Annie.”

Anne pushed herself back against the wall, shaking her head. “I didn’t mean it. What I said to Jane. I didn’t mean any of it. I just…” She shrugged then, lost for words.

Kitty bit her lip. It was true, Anne’s words had been spiteful and knowing Jane, she would have taken them to heart. Jane would be crushed to think Anne hated Grace and resented her for bringing her into the family.

_ Family._

It was funny, how the six of them had been pushed together, connected by their past, and they had soon established a great friendship between them. Now, they considered themselves more of a family. Somewhat dysfunctional at times, perhaps, but what kind of family was perfect?

“Family forgive each other, Anne,” Kitty drew from her thoughts, trying desperately to help. She fumbled for things to make Anne see there was a way to fix this. “Remember the time you thought it would be a great idea to try and help me dye the ends of my hair and ended up making the entire bathroom look like a murder scene?”

Anne cracked a smile at the memory. Kitty was used to dying her ends pink herself, but out of curiosity, Anne had insisted she help her do it one day. To say Jane hadn’t been best pleased when she saw the aftermath was an understatement.

“Or what about the time you thought you’d try and help with the washing and accidentally turned Jane’s favourite top red?”

Anne cringed at that one.

“Jane will forgive you, Anne,” Kitty reassured, giving her hand a squeeze. “She’s never been the type to hold grudges. If you apologise and explain, I’m sure things will be alright.”

Then, Anne frowned, remembering what happened just ten minutes prior. “I thought you were going home?”

The younger girl shrugged. “I figured you’d need someone to give you a hug. We all know Anna isn’t exactly the hugging type.”

The comment made Anne laugh. Out of all the Queens, Anna was the least sympathetic and liked to keep people at a distance. Anna gave good advice, but she wasn’t one for being a shoulder to cry on. She told you to toughen up.

Anne’s head was throbbing more than ever now, thanks to the alcohol. She put her head between her knees, just wishing the pain would stop. Kitty knelt beside her.

“Come on, let’s go home. We’ll sort it out in the morning.”

As she helped Anne back up to her feet and went to unlock the door, Anne stopped her.

“Wait!”

Confused, the younger girl frowned.

Anne tackled her cousin, giving her the biggest hug she could.

“I’m sorry, Kit. I love you to bits and don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Kitty smiled, holding Anne close.

“Beheaded cousins, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I forget to mention waaaay back a few chapters ago that we were all getting on the angst train? Where it stops, nobody knows!  
So, it was quite interesting to read everyone's different perceptions of last chapter's events...some of you were sympathising with Jane, whilst some of you thought Anne was totally right to speak up.
> 
> So, here's another for you: how do you think this will all pan out? Will things come to a head again as the pair try to straighten out their differences? Or do you think one of them will simply cave and admit all wrongdoing? Ultimately, even if all is forgiven, how will Anne's words affect the household?
> 
> Thank you, as always, for reading and for all your kind words, comments and kudos. :3


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Jane finally confront one another and try to make amends.

As the light from the sun streamed into Anne’s bedroom, the girl gave a sigh, already awake and staring blankly at the ceiling. Her throbbing head had subsided slightly, but was still a persistent enough ache to remind her of last night’s events and dreading what the day would bring. She hadn’t slept well: how could she when all her guilty thoughts gnawed away at her in the darkness? She knew she’d have to confront Jane at some point; in a house with five others it was difficult to evade anyone for any length of time, and she knew prolonging things would just make the situation worse. Lying there, Anne was no longer angry. The pure frustration and anger from last night had gradually dissipated and was now replaced by guilt and remorse. Having had time to contemplate, Anne had come to the realisation that she had acted badly and had allowed her temper to fuel her words. Her feelings had been valid, yes, but her words and actions had been unwarranted. She just hoped Jane would realise that and forgive her.

She tried desperately to think what she could do to help start mending the damage she had done. What was that saying Cathy had mentioned to her recently? _Actions were louder than words_. She supposed she should make some kind of peace offering, a small gesture, to start things off on level-ground. To let Jane know that she wasn’t going to bite her head off. That she was sorry. That she was prepared to listen, and she was prepared to learn from this.

So, Anne rolled out of bed. Jane was always first to rise in the house. Ever the early bird, she was the one who prepared all their breakfasts, ready for when they came downstairs. Well, not today. Today, it was going to be Anne who was first awake. Anne slipped out of her room and crept along the landing and first took a peek into Grace’s room. She smiled, seeing the little girl peacefully sleeping, with her beloved toy rabbit tucked safely under her arm, her blonde hair spilled out onto the pillow. Then, she tiptoed downstairs and closed the kitchen door as she began to ransack the cupboards for all the pans and utensils she would need. To be truthful, she was clueless. She was only really good for pouring cereal into a bowl, and even then she still usually managed to either cause an eruption of Rice Krispies all over the counter when she misjudged the amount she’d pour out, or sloshed milk everywhere apart from the bowl. Anne was, of course, the klutz of the house.

Not long after, Jane woke from a very fitful sleep. Cathy had curled up beside her for a while until Jane insisted she get some sleep and she’d reluctantly retired to her own bed, leaving Jane alone with her own thoughts. She could already feel the knot of nerves beginning to grow in her stomach. She’d listened out for Anne returning home and let out a sigh of relief when she finally heard the turn of a key as the trio returned. That in itself was promising: she knew Anna wouldn’t have brought her back until she had diffused some of Anne’s anger.

Giving a sigh, Jane decided the best thing to do was try and maintain some sense of normalcy in the house, for everyone else’s sake. What better way to do that than to start the day with the usual breakfast. But when Jane padded downstairs, she raised an eyebrow. The door to the kitchen was closed. When she gently pushed the door open, both Jane and Anne gave a gasp and froze.

“Oh-sorry, I was just…” Jane stammered in alarm as she staggered back, quite surprised to see Anne up so early. It also did nothing to calm her nerves.

‘Oh, I-um…” Anne simultaneously mumbled, fumbling with the pan on the stove, looking like a schoolgirl who’d been caught by a teacher doing something she shouldn’t.

Neither of them had been prepared for this.

The pair stopped and simply looked at one another, quickly realising that they both had the same intentions. Suddenly, Anne began to cry. Jane felt her eyes well up too and wordlessly, she quickly wrapped her arms around Anne.

“I’m sorry,” Anne sobbed, overwhelmed with emotion and feeling some familiar comfort from Jane’s embrace.

“I’m sorry too.”

The pair allowed themselves a moment to relieve themselves of the emotions from the previous night, before finally composing themselves and giving a laugh.

“You were really coming down to make me breakfast too?’ Anne sniffed, wiping her cheeks as she chucked.

Jane nodded with a small smile.

“Well,” Anne gave a crooked smile, gesturing to the pan on the stove. “I’m pretty clueless. I burnt the first batch of pancakes…”

Jane gave a grin. “How about I do the pancakes and you do the toast?”

Anne’s eyes went wide. “What? And give everyone a rude awakening with the fire alarm?”

Jane gave Anne’s hair a playful tousle, making the younger girl giggle. Maybe things would be alright between them after all.

* * *

After a civilised and relatively normal breakfast, Catherine organised an excuse to get everyone out of the house, knowing Jane and Anne needed space and privacy to straighten things out between them properly. Ushering Grace and the other Queens out of the door, she gave Jane a little wink as she left. She prayed the pair sorted everything out – they had been amicable over breakfast but she wondered how much of it had been an act to benefit the rest of them and to maintain the peace in front of Grace.

Both girls took some quiet time alone, to contemplate what they wanted to say and how they wanted to fix the cracks. Finally, Anne gently opened the door to the lounge where Jane was watching TV. She was reserved and appeared nervous, lingering in the doorway.

“I was wondering if…we could talk?” she asked, wringing her hands.

Jane nodded, giving a little smile, turning the volume down on the TV as she watched Anne sink into the sofa opposite. The pair sat in silence for a moment, neither sure of what to say and a little scared to voice their feelings. Finally, Jane took a deep breath.

“I know that bringing Grace into our home has been a huge upheaval. I allowed my emptions to get the better of me and didn’t really let myself think things through rationally. That night, it just seemed the right thing to do, you know? In that moment, I guess I wasn’t really thinking of what would happen the next day or the day after. I just…fell in love with her and it felt right. Like I was meant to find her, like I was meant to bring her into our lives.”

The blonde paused momentarily.

“But now I realise how truly selfish I have been. I’ve thrown the house into complete disarray without any consideration for anyone else and I’ve been so blind to it all. I was so wrapped up in her that I wasn’t seeing the little changes, the cracks.”

Jane bowed her head, biting her lip, ashamed. “I didn’t see that whilst I was trying to raise a daughter I was slowly losing the family I already had.”

Before Anne could speak, Jane lifted her head and forced herself to look at the younger Queen. She deserved to know the truth: the reason why.

  
“I didn’t go out last night because I’d had a nightmare the night before. I had a nightmare that-“ she faltered, bracing herself to utter his name. “-Henry snatched Grace. And I just couldn’t get it out of my head. I just kept thinking that if I left her, something bad would happen. That he would come and take her away.”

She was sobbing now, reliving those horrible images. Anne paled and felt another stab of guilt. She couldn’t have known, yet Jane had refused to go out because she believed she needed to protect her little girl. It made Anne think of Elizabeth and how she would have done anything to protect her precious girl from him, that monster, or from any harm for that matter.

“Jane…why didn’t you just say?” her voice quivered.

Jane simply shook her head. “I couldn’t. I hadn’t told anyone, not until last night after you’d left.”

Anne slowly shifted across to the other sofa beside Jane. She took Jane’s hands firmly in hers, making Jane lift her gaze and look her in the eye.

“I want you to know that I never meant what I said last night. You did what was right that night you found Grace, you did what anyone else would have done. You’ve shown her so much love…” Anne trailed off, trying to fend off tears. ‘You’ve been such a good mother to her. And…it just reminds me of her, you know? I just miss her so much.”

Jane knew exactly who Anne was referring to, and as the girl began to cry, she pulled her close, stroking her hair.

“I love Grace to pieces, I really do,” Anne continued, nuzzling into Jane’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t change having her in our lives for the world.”

Grace’s arrival had inevitably stirred up emotions and tore open a wound in Anne. It was one that would never fully heal – she could never forget or stop loving her Elizabeth – but Grace had unceremoniously ripped off the plaster Anne had tried to put over it, allowing all the emotions to come pouring back out. Anne had tried to conceal it for so long, and the initial excitement of having a cute baby in the house had been a small distraction. But there had also, deep down, been a bit of burning jealousy, of self-entitlement. Why had Jane been given this second chance of motherhood? Why not her? But really, when Anne stopped to think about it, she knew this was selfish of her – Jane had never been able to even hold her newborn son. At least she had had two years with Elizabeth. So, she’d tried to brush her bitter feelings aside, and tried to forge on, with a smile on her face, channelling her own maternal yearnings into Grace.

Giving a sniff, Anne pulled away, giving a small shrug. “I guess I just missed the way things used to be too, when it was just the six of us and we didn’t have to think about childcare and everything.”

Jane gave a faint smile. “I realise now that I have let Grace take over everything in my life. I’ve been so consumed with her that I have forgotten the simple things, like going out for dinner with you girls, going to the cinema…I’ve lost sight of what really matters. And I promise, I’m going to change.”

Anne broke into a smile. “We can still do things as a family – with Grace,” she reassured. “But, it would be nice, every now and then, to just have some time together…just us six.”

At that, Jane nodded. “That sounds like a fair deal.”

At that, the pair hugged.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you. I was totally out of order for getting so angry and screaming at you,” Anne said, immediately feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders.

“I’m sorry for being so selfish and for not seeing how my decisions have affected everyone, including you. And I’m sorry I ruined your birthday.”

Then, they both laughed: it was such a relief to finally have broken the awful silence between them and be open and honest. Now, they both knew where they each stood and where their mistakes were.

Anne nuzzled into Jane. “You’re a good mum, Jane. Not just to Grace, but to all of us,”

Anne looked up at the older girl, forgiveness in her eyes.

“We’re really lucky to have you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like Anne has come to see she's made mistakes along the way too and Jane knows she's far from perfect...but who is?  
We'll see how the pair get on moving forwards. In the meantime, I promise there is some cute, fluffy stuff coming. :3
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read and, as always, kudos and comments are appreciated.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queens take a trip to the zoo as Jane starts trying to fight off her demons.

Cathy laid a gentle hand on Jane’s shoulder. “Jane, take a breath.”

She’d noticed Jane tense up as soon as they arrived, that familiar flicker of worry in her eyes, the hesitation in her step.

When Jane didn’t respond, Cathy stood in front of her, both hands on her shoulders, and looked her right in the eye. “Listen to me, ok? She’s going to be fine,” she said, softly. “You have five of us looking out for her.”

Jane had been making a conscientious effort to prove she was willing to change after all that had happened with Anne, so when a visit to the zoo was suggested, she had seemed enthusiastic. But the nightmare with Henry had left impressions on her and it was becoming evident it wasn’t proving easy to break away from; to separate nightmare from reality. As a result, Jane’s brain was now hardwired to think of the worst-case scenario for everything, triggering her anxiety.

Whilst the younger Queens were slowly growing tired and impatient with Jane’s overprotective tendencies, Cathy knew it was simply going to take time. Jane needed their support more than ever if she was to control her emotions and fight off the overwhelming fears she had. The more they went on outings with Grace, she figured, eventually the easier it would get for Jane, and the sooner they did it, the better. After all, Grace was growing every day and soon she’d be yearning for more independence and right now, Cathy knew Jane was really not ready for that. Once Grace started school, it would be inevitable that she’ll ask to go on playdates and sleepovers with other kids. She’ll perhaps want to take up a hobby, like dancing, horse-riding or gymnastics. All of which came with their own worries, which for most parents would be manageable and bearable, but for Jane would simply be overwhelming.

School. It was a topic Jane had been avoiding until the other day.

She’d broached the subject with Cathy: she wanted to go to a few school open days in the areas and get Grace enrolled sooner rather than later to ensure a place. Cathy had watched as Jane wringed her hands at the kitchen table, her eyes never lifting from her mug of tea. The prospect of Grace being away at school for six hours of the day, five days a week made her feel sick, she knew. But perhaps having that routine would be a good stepping-stone in helping Jane – it would force her to relinquish a bit of control and gradually let Grace have a bit more freedom as time went on. Plus, going to school and mixing with her peers could only be a positive for Grace; she was clearly a sociable child but hadn’t had much opportunity to interact with children her own age.

Jane watched as Grace skipped ahead of them, her long, blonde hair swaying in the breeze, holding Kitty’s hand and chatting away. Carefree. How she wished she could be like that. She watched as other mums sat and gossiped with friends, so relaxed and unconcerned, as their children played in the playground five minutes away. Why couldn’t she be like that? Why did she always have this burden of worry on her shoulders that she never seemed able to shift? She was always fearing the worst and it was taking over her life.

“I just…” Jane shrugged, with a hopeless sigh. “I just don’t know how to harness this…fear.”

There, she’d admitted it. It was fear. And she didn’t know how to control it.

“For a start, stop comparing yourself to others. Remember you have reasons to justify your fear: fear manifests itself to protect us. To make us react,” Cathy started to walk beside her again. “It’ll take time, Jane. It’s not going to go away overnight. But we’re all here for you, and we’re going to help. Just imagine what more you’ll be able to do once you’ve built your confidence: you and Grace will be able to have a mummy-daughter day, all to yourselves. Grace will love that.”

Jane forced herself to take a deep breath.

Cathy tilted her head. “Go on. Tell me one thing that’s worrying you about day. Get it off your chest now.”

Jane didn’t hesitate. She said the first thing that came to her mind.

“That she gets lost and we can’t find her.”

Cathy nodded. “That’s a fair and valid concern. Of course you’re going to be worried letting your kid run around a huge place like this. But let’s break this down: Grace doesn’t have a huge tendency to go far out of sight, not from you. There’s also another five pair of eyes watching out her today when most parents have two at best. If she does get lost, we report it to the staff and we’ll find her. It’s all fenced off so she can’t get out unnoticed.”

As she thought Cathy’s points through, Jane had to admit she felt a little lighter. She gave a smile.

“See?” Cathy gave her a playful nudge. “Sometimes you just have to break things down logically and it becomes a little easier.”

“Yeah, it does.”

“Just try and relax the best you can, okay? Have some fun.”

* * *

Armed with a map of the zoo, Jane decided to try and distract herself and make things fun for Grace. She knelt down to her level and handed her the map.

“How about you find out what everyone’s favourite animal is so we can make sure we don’t miss any out today?” She retrieved Grace’s pencil case from her rucksack. “You can circle them with a pencil.”

Grace nodded enthusiastically, glad to be given a task to do. So, she went around each of the Queens, prompting them for their favourite animal and circling them with a different coloured pencil: yellow for Catherine, green for Anne, black for Jane, pink for Kitty and blue for Cathy.

Catherine gave her a little nudge. “Aren’t you forgetting somebody?” she winked.

Grace gave a puzzled frown before giving a giggle in realisation. “Me!”

Grace circled her favourite with a purple pencil. She hesitated, before looking at Maisie tucked under her arm and looked up at Jane.

“Are there rabbits here for Maisie?”

Jane scoured the map and found the petting zoo, pointing it out to Grace. “I think this will be Maisie’s favourite.”

As Grace circled off the petting zoo, they could finally start their tour.

First, they headed to Kitty’s favourite: the meerkats. All of the Queens couldn’t resist cooing over the cute, inquisitive animals as they burrowed and stood up on their hind legs on patrol. It seemed Grace also enjoyed finding an animal that was near her height, as she ran back and forth behind the plexiglass, taking delight in two baby meerkats following her every move.

They moved onto the wolves, Anna’s favourite. At first, none of the Queens could see them, until Grace gave a small gasp and pointed. As if summoned, a white wolf approached from down the side of the enclosure. Although it didn’t get too close, the wolf gave them an impressive view, perching itself on a high rock, overseeing its territory.

“It’s like a big dog!” piped up Grace.

Anne knelt down beside her, still watching the wolf. “That’s because there is a little bit of wolf in most dogs,” she explained.

Three more wolves appeared, spreading themselves out.

“Do you remember the word for wolf, princesita?” Catherine whispered.

Grace nodded. “El lobo.”

Catherine smiled with pride. She was taking great pleasure in teaching the little girl some of her mother tongue. Some nights, Grace would even ask her for a bedtime story from her, about her past. Catherine focused on the happier memories of her childhood. It made her miss her mother, who had been so determined that she and her siblings had the very best education. It was thanks to her, that she’d had the knowledge and courage to stand up for herself in years to come, to make her own decisions. So being a part of Grace’s education, and having her be so interested and intrigued, was a privilege.

"Come on, Grace!" cried Anne, marching ahead. "Let's go see the giraffes!"

* * *

They strolled through the aviary, where they fed the rainbow lorikeets and tiptoed through the creepy crawly cave, which a squeamish Kitty quickly bypassed. Eventually, Grace grew tired on her feet and Anna scooped her up, lifting her onto her shoulders.

“There you go: queen of the castle! Now, you can rest those legs for a bit and get the best view!”

Once they’d seen a few more exhibits, Jane suggested they stop for lunch. As it was a pleasant, warm day, they decided to have a picnic out on the grass. Jane watched on as Grace played frisbee with the other Queens, their bubbly laughter floating on the breeze.

“You should be proud of yourself,” Cathy broke the silence, giving a grin as she too watched the others’ antics. “You’ve done really well today.”

Jane smiled. “I do feel a bit less uptight today,” she admitted, taking a sip of lemonade. “It’s nice seeing her bond with the others too.”

They watched as Anna made a dramatic dive for the Frisbee and missed, met with a roar of laughter as she tumbled to the ground. When Grace missed a few catches, Anne was quick to help, lifting Grace up high so she could catch it in the air, gaining cheers from the others. It was just nice seeing everyone so relaxed and having fun together.

Then, their peace was shattered as Catherine launched the Frisbee in their direction. “Don’t think you two are getting away without playing!” she grinned.

Cathy and Jane gave a smirk before getting up and joining the group.

* * *

Finally, they had reached their last exhibit, which was Jane’s favourite. Jane had always been fond of elephants and was fascinated by how expressive and emotive they were. Highly intelligent, elephants were actually believed to experience deep emotions similar to humans: joy, anger, love, grief. It was something Jane had connected with, particularly now as she spotted the mother with her calf. She watched as the mother gently steers her calf away from the bull, trying to keep her offspring out of danger. She’d read somewhere that elephants are thought to have the deepest maternal love in the animal kingdom; their bond between mother and child lasting fifty years or more.

Jane looked down at Grace, stroking her hair. No matter how long it would take, no matter how hard it would be, she suddenly felt like the obstacle in her way wasn’t impossible to overcome.

Like the elephant herd, she had her family. Each played their own part. And she thought, maybe just maybe, with their support, she’d get there.

One step at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You wanted some fluff, so here you go!  
I've been taking some time to think things over and I am going to postpone updating this 'fic for a while in order to concentrate on "Playing With Fire" and some new work. Don't worry, I will come back to this story - I just think it's holding me back slightly on writing newer fics for you to enjoy.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and all your continued support. :3


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